The Sinister Mr. Corpse

With The Sinister Mr. Corpse Jeff Strand returns to horror comedy. After experiencing the dark horror of his novel Pressure it's nice to have Jeff make us laugh again.

Stanley Dabernath's life was going nowhere fast. He was broke, evicted, eating stolen noodles three times a day, of low moral constitution and attempting to run a video distribution company featuring such titles as: Extreme Fishing, Vampire Splatter and The Mysterious Case of the Chunks of Flesh. Things weren't going well for Stanley but at least he was alive. At least he was alive until the semi truck full of milk ran off the road, tipped over, trapped his foot and then drowned him in milk that came pouring out of it.

Television reporter Donald Mandigan has gained exclusive access to the story of a lifetime. He has been invited by Project Second Chance to do a live broadcast of the first resurrection since Lazarus. Stanley was about to receive a second chance at life as The Amazing Mr. Corpse.

Stanley does an amazing job of adapting to life, such as it is, once he realizes that he really did die and return. Life as a living corpse isn't that bad and Stanley finally has his shot at fame and riches. All he has to do is make an appearance, autograph a shirt/action figure/poster/hat/photograph, enjoy the spotlight of fame, take his daily injection and collect a big check. It's a good thing Project Second Chance has assigned him a personal assistant to keep up with all of it.

So how does The Amazing Mr. Corpse become The Sinister Mr. Corpse? You'll have to read the book to find out and it's worth reading every page to learn all of Stanley's story.

Once again the small press has done a wonderful job of producing a quality product. Great job by Delirium Books. I really like the gold inlaid title, image and author's name on the cover of the book. The book comes in at 259 pages and was a pleasure to read.

Would I read The Sinister Mr. Corpse a second time? I already have.

Big "Thank you!" to Jeff Strand for allowing me to quote the following from the book. In this scene Stanley is meeting his assistant, Veronica, for the first time. It really gives you an idea of what Stanley's personality is like and what it would be like to work with him.

"You're not a freak," Veronica insisted, "you're a--"

"--a scientific phenomenon, I know. But, c'mon, look at me. I've got a face that only a drunken coked-up lobotomized mother could love."

"Don't be so caught up in your appearance. You're Mr. Corpse. People aren't expecting beauty."

"So I don't gross you out?"

"Not at all."

"What about now?" Stanley opened wide, showing her a mouthful of chewed-up eggs.

On a more personal note: If the comic industry can have Batman & Spawn teamup I think the horror story industry could have Captain Nothing, from Nothing To Lose, and The Sinister Mr. Corpse team up. That would be cool.

Pressure

Pressure by Jeff Strand comes in just under 250 pages total but it doesn't seem that long. Why? Because you don't want to stop reading. Time will stand still as you get drawn into the story.

It's not often an author creates a character that I can so easily identify with but Jeff pulls it off with the main character, Alex Fletcher. I so easily identified with Alex that when something bad happened to him in the book I wanted to hit the author with my copy. Don't worry, I calmed down. Jeff Strand is in no danger.

If you are more familiar with Jeff's humorous work then you are in for a shock. Pressure doesn't have his sense of humor in it. This is a straight forward suspense novel that will put you on edge. If you are not familiar with Jeff's funny side then look at The Horror Contests page where I'm giving away an autographed copy of his "Funny Stories of Scary Sex".

The story takes place in four phases during the life of Alex Fletcher. Each phase deals with the pressure he experiences due to his interactions with Darren Rust. Remember the creepy kid in grade school that you just knew would grow up to be a psycho? That's Darren. It's made pretty clear at the beginning that Daren just isn't right.

Phase I - Sneaking out to peek in the back door of a strip club. Playing card games when you should be studying. Dreaming of growing up with your best friends and learning that one of them just might be crazy.
Phase II - Going to college. Meeting girls. Running into the grade school friend you thought was crazy. Learning that with the right amount of pressure he can get you to do what he wants, no matter how you really feel.
Phase III - You finally got rid of your "friend", matured and found yourself happy in life. What is that your daughter brought home from the playground? Didn't your "friend" have something like that? This cannot be happening.
Phase IV - Friend or not, this has to end. Now. No price is too high when you have suffered this much. It's time to put the Pressure on your so called friend instead of allowing him to put it on you.

Don't be surprised when you see yourself in this book. Don't be alarmed when you relate to the characters and know their pain. Be terrified when you realize this could happen to you.

Yes this made the re-read list, but not too soon. I need time to get over the emotions from the first reading before I read it again.

Looking for a good scare that doesn't involve vampires, ghosts, ghouls and/or the wolf man? This is the story for you.

Special "Thank you!" to Jeff Strand for allowing me to quote the following from Pressure:

If it's ok with you I would like to quote the following:
I motioned for Jeremy to stop. We stood there for a moment, listening to the sounds coming from the bushes. They weren't loud, and I couldn't quite tell what they were.
They sounded sort of....wet.
Jeremy put a finger to his lips, and together we began to walk toward the bushes as quietly as possible.
The wet sounds continued, vaguely reminding me of my mother peeling the skin off a raw chicken.
Jeremy held up three fingers, counting down.
Two...on...
"Gotcha!" Jeremy shouted as we simultaneously pushed through the bushes.
Darren cried out and threw up his hands.
A few drops of liquid hit my face.
There was a moment of absolute chaos, as Darren frantically scooted away from us, and Jeremy's face registered pure horror at what he saw, and I was suddenly overwhelmed by a smell that was far worse than the dumpster outside the strip club.

Funny Stories of Scary Sex

Funny Stories Of Scary Sex by Jeff Strand and illustrated by Keith Minnion is exactly what the title claims to be. Two stories containing sex, scares and humor. This chapbook is limited to 150 copies published by White Noise Press so finding one for yourself may be a bit of a challenge. I found mine through Shocklines. They are currently out of stock but appear to have more on order. The publisher does has some in stock at this time. Each chapbook is autographed by both the author and the illustrator twice.

Short stories should be like an afternoon quickie in the copier room. Quick, to the point and great fun. Both Sex Potion #147 and Werewolf Porno meet these requirements.

In Sex Potion #147 Melissa is a thirty something lady with a non-existant sex life. The good news is that she has encountered a gypsy selling a potion that will fix her problem. Sadly it works a bit too well.

"He wasn't good at murder-talk and truly admired those killers who could eloquently taunt their victims, or at least rant incoherently. Harold felt self-conscious about speaking during the process, but he wanted to say something so he stuck with..."

The title Werewolf Porno pretty much sums things up. It has a werewolf making a porno. Luckily for us Jeff does more than simply write a title. Carl is an unemployed werewolf that tries to drink away his sorrows in the local bar. One night he meets a porn director at the bar and after a few drinks finds himself explaining his condition. The pornographer has a wonderful idea for a film. Horror and hilarity ensues.

"Garry had assured him that his lack of a gargantuan phallus was okay, and that he wouldn't be expected to go at it like a seasoned porn star. 'You'll just lie there; she'll do all the work,' the director had explained. 'As long as the moon does the trick, we'll have ourselves the ultimate porno flick, a bestiality masterpiece beyond anything the world has ever seen!'"

Will these stories make my re-read list? You better believe it! Just like that quickie in the copier room this is something you will want to enjoy again and again.

The other bonus to this chapbook is that you get three illustrations by Keith Minnion with it. Two different covers plus an additional illustration inside. I really like that it came in an envelope for storage that also has the titles illustrated by Keith as well.

The quality of some of these small publishers has really amazed me and White Noise Press is no exception. This chapbook is laid out well, there are no ink smudges and it's printed on quality paper. I really think some of the big publishing companies could take lessons from the smaller ones.

If you order this book you will not be disappointed.

Big "Thank you!" to Jeff Strand for allowing me to include quotes from the stories.