Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentine's Day Q&A

Today I'm thrilled to present a Valentine's Day Horror Q&A with Jack Ketchum and Michele Bardsley. Each author was chosen because of the unique views on love, sex and horror they present in their writing.

Big "THANK YOU!" to both Jack and Michele for taking time to answer the following questions. Enjoy!

Cupid, angel or demon?
Jack - Have you ever been in love when the little fucker wasn't both?
Michele - DEMON

Which scares you more? Having your heart broken by the betrayal of a lover or having it broken because a monster just ripped it out of your chest?
Jack - I've had the former. Got over it. When the latter happens I doubt I'll be able to let you know.
Michele - Um ... I think having a monster rip my heart is scarier. I can recover from a figurative broken heart.

Was Dracula a scary villain or a romantic lead character?
Jack - My Dracula was Stoker's Dracula. An amalgam of the two. Dead, but beguiling.
Michele - Both. He was terrifying and sexy. Kudos to ol' Drac for pulling that one off.

Going out on Valentines night which would you suggest, scary movie or romantic dinner?
Jack - First you gotta figure, what's your aim here? You want a hug or you want the full monte? Scary movies are cheaper. But if you've got any class you might want to spring for the dinner. Besides, most movies don't serve Chocolate Martinis or pitchers of Banana Daiquiri.
Michele - Romantic dinner. I like food way more than I liked to be scared out of my wits.

The marriage vows say that a couple will stay together until death. If a voodoo witch doctor brings them back from the dead are they free to date other zombies?
Jack - Date? Did George Romero ever address the subject of dating? Did I miss something? For some reason I'm thinking dinner again. More important.
Michele - That's an excellent question. I think couples who plan to walk down the aisle should clarify this situation in their vows. I mean, if your body is technically dead, but still shuffling around, does that really count toward "'til death do us part"?

Psychotic small restaurant owner is serving dinner on Valentines night. His mind is finally slipped and he has butchered his wait staff. What body part(s) does he serve his customers that night?
Jack - You've clearly got this goddamn restaurant fixation. You need to work on that. Okay. Is his wait staff male or female? What age? Are we talking cherrystone clams or deep fried bull's pizzle? You gotta be more specific.
Michele - The hearts, of course!

It's Valentine's Day. You can spend it with any character you have written about. Which one is it and why?
Jack - RED. Dogs are cheap. They love you unconditionally. And they don't bitch about the Chardonnay.
Michele - I would probably choose Patrick O'Halloran, the vampire hero from I'M THE VAMPIRE, THAT'S WHY. Yeah, he's really sexy and has that yummy Irish accent, but really, I want to ask him a bunch of questions about what really transpired in the world 4,000 years ago.

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